Leaving Thailand

So, with our minds made up and our bags packed, we set out on a long journey from Koh Tao to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The night ferry left at 10 and it was packed with a hundred salty, sunburned travelers like ourselves. It was a seven hour trip to the port city of Chumphon and we spent that time fitfully sleeping shoulder to shoulder on a hundred sticky plastic mattress pads lining the floor of the ferry. Foot stink, varied snores and breathing patterns, low murmurings in different languages, the rumble of the engine and the deep sway of the ocean... It was dank and dirty and when the boat pulled into Chumphon, that city was also dank and dirty, and mostly deserted at 5 in the morning. A fat, pushy Thai woman at the bus station insisted to Jeff that we would need Malaysian money at the border, for visas or something, and in the haze of dawn and sleeplessness we exchanged our baht for ringgits and lost some money in the transaction-- undoubtedly part of her early morning traveller scam. It was disheartening to say the least, to have it happen again because our guards were down, to be taken advantage of by another Thai person with a trick up her sleeve.

We had planned to spend a little more time in Thailand-- go up north and see beautiful Chiangmai, maybe catch a boxing match in Bangkok.. but the monsoons really tore heavily through the northern provinces this year and it felt like it was time to leave. We might return to before we fly out to India, but it seems far away enough to put it out of mind for now.

Some thoughts on Thailand upon our departure: a lot of people used skin whitening cream, and smeared it on their faces every day, like white guano. Men, women, and so many little girls and even infants. They sold it in 7 11's, grocery stores, street vendors and markets. Familiar name brands that sell anti aging products in the US have special products like "pearl whiteness cream" and "lightening serum" and "magic beauty advanced bleaching moisturizer" and all sorts of horrible gimmicky names like that. I took a class in college about the politics of skin color (which I've always taken for granted, being light-skinned and all) and it was sad to see it so naturally incorporated into the culture in Thailand, where all of the magazine covers feature stone white Asian faces and even the photos of political figures are touched up to look lighter. During our time on Sairee Beach, the cutest little toddler girl near our place was scampering about the sand and singing little Thai songs, smiling and giggling all the while with big splotchy patches of dried white cream on her cheeks. Didn't anyone think she was perfect and beautiful just the way she was?

Another thing: I think that Thai women really resent western women coming around with their outspokenness and brazen attitudes, and they don't do much to hide their disdain. I read a book about the culture and politics of Thailand, and it talked a lot about national values and the place of women. Thailand is the only country in Southeast Asia to never have accepted foreign occupation (minus the Kmer regime) and they hold onto a tough mistrust of the dreaded farang (western person). Their economy depends on western tourism, and Thai women are in a unique position to take advantage of that unique group of men who come to Thailand especially for them. Old white men every where (Australian, Englishmen mostly) had teeny Thai girlfriends at their sides, tottering around on high heels with an air of pride and confidence. These women are the sole breadwinners of their families back north; they pay for their siblings' schooling, put food on the table, pay off the lien on the family farm. It's a hard pill to swallow, and the only other option is some shitty factory job for 12 hours a day.

Then I ride into town on my high white horse with my prized white boyfriend, and I buy a bikini and a Mai Tai with a big wad of western money, and I'm so young and unburdened by the difficulties of Thai life, and I guess it all just seems unfair. Hippy dippy western feminism tells you that all women are "spiritually connected" by that "internal bond" of womanhood, but with the smoldering looks from Thai women and the contempt that sneaks through their broken English, I've never felt so estranged from the sisterhood, sotospeak. It's sad and completely understandable. I guess it's just a mighty big world we live in.

So, goodbye Thailand, and tuk tuks and long boats, beautiful limestone karst formations on the horizon, banana shakes and pad Thai. Goodbye roadside beer bottles full of gasoline for sale, scuba friends and the Thai beers we shared, little hut by the beach where we nested beneath a mosquito net and dreamed of our next adventure. An archipelago called Indonesia...

8:02PM
KL, Malaysia